Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Quick Rant

Be warned: I'm going to rant.

I know this is neither the time nor the place to be ranting.

The time - the 29th night of Ramadan, a night which could possibly be Laylatul Qadr, therefore I should really be getting my dhikr on.
The place - this blog, in which this rant topic is completely unrelated and therefore irrelevant to the aforementioned blog's readers. 

But, I don't want to be backbiting to my friends on this holiest of nights (not that I'd want to be backbiting generally either), so you guys are going to have to bear with me.

I have this friend who stalks me. And it's really really really wierd.

She 'likes' most, if not all, of my Facebook comments, statuses, photos etc. Even those that are written on other people's walls and are completely unrelated to anything to do with her.

And she tries to contact me obsessively. As in, she'll write on my FB wall, then she'll text me, then she'll text me again, then she'll write on my wall, then a final text. If I by chance manage to do anything on Facebook other than reply to her messages, she messages my FB inbox. A private message - saying the same things that she's said a couple of times via wall posts and  text messages.

Don't get me wrong, I do like this girl. She's nice to hang out with, and we've had dinner together a couple of times. But her obsessiveness makes her so unattractive to me. So sometimes I just ignore her, and then she calms down. I've found that if I do reply after the fifteen million messages, it just encourages her to send another lot of messages. So silence has been a good mediator between us.

So, I'll bring you up to date. She's going away to university in a couple of weeks time. And she texts me telling me the good news, and would I like to meet up before she goes? I'm not so cold-hearted to ignore her now, because at the end of the day, she's a nice girl, I like her, and I will miss her when she's not around anymore. So I agree, and set a date two weeks in advance, because we're in the middle of Ramadan, I'm working, and I know my calender is going to fill up pretty fast, what with Iftar invitations and Tarawih going on until the middle of the night.

All is good. I even get a couple of 'I'm so excited!' texts. Which is nice.

Then, the day before, she cancels. Family commitments.

Okay, fair enough. But how could she not know this until the day before? To be honest, I wasn't that bothered at the time, because the last ten days of Ramadan were about to begin, and I had more important things to worry about. (Like sleep deprivation, but more on that another time inshA.)

Then, the day after we were meant to meet up, she starts messaging me about meeting up again. I'm ignoring her. I really don't have the time to be faffing about. I've honestly struggled this Ramadan, I just couldn't cope with the non-essential things in life. So I blanked her. And I thought I'll just speak to her properly when Ramadan is over.

I tell her that I'm busy (because I am) and I'll speak to her after Eid. Short and sweet.

This is where things get ugly, and I get mad.

She tells me, "You're being difficult, I've got a lot of people to see before I go, and I'm being as flexible as possible."

I'm being difficult? It wasn't me who cancelled our plans last minute.

It's the LAST 10 DAYS OF RAMADAN. What does she not understand? Does she not get that time is so precious, and Allah (SWT) has granted us Ramadan to give us the opportunity to play catch-up with all the time we waste in this dunya during the rest of the year?

If she has so many people to see, then why is she hassling me so much? If she's being flexible, then why is she telling me that she's busy four nights a week and that only Friday and Saturday are really 'good' for her? (Note: Friday may possibly be Eid, so I have no idea what she's thinking when she says she may be free.) just irks me so much. Most of the time, she's such a sweet sweet girl, really lovely, heart in the right place. But things like this, it just ruins Ramadan for me. Because I'm torn between

a) being patient with her and explaining to her slowly and clearly (like you would to a small child) that she can't throw a tantrum every time she wants to see me, because believe it or not, I have a life too


b) ignoring her due to the fact that her behaviour is akin to that of a five year old.

Someone was giving a reminder the other day, and they were saying there's a Hadith that says that it's not right to break relations with someone during the month of Ramadan (this is paraphrased obviously) - but what if that person is not helping your Iman, and they're distracting you from your Ibadah with their constant drama? She's making the last 10 days really inefficient for me. I don't know if I'm allowed to give that excuse on Judgement Day :S

And normally, this wouldn't bug me too much, but she was saying all this stuff on the 27th night. The night which is more likely to be Lailatul Qadr. Such an auspicious time, and all she can think to do is send me texts about a catch up which will most likely never happen.


After reading all of that, I feel like Allah (SWT) is testing me with this girl. She's wearing down all my patience.


Love and Sugar said...

Salam sis,

I wrote my comments but then my net cut off. Argh!! Anyway, alhamdulilah you have a friend who cares for you :) And yes, this is a test.

All im going to say is just to make dua for her to be a good Muslimah, for Allah to give her the best manners and character and understanding. What else can we do? :)

xxEid Mubarak!

Anonymous said...

oh the clingy ones -.-

Anonymous said...

Salamualaikum Sister,
I think a) is the right option,explain once, wish her well in university and then keep it moving. You don't want to leave eachother on bad terms, trust me, I regret one specific case and now I've lost contact so its too late to fix it.

Be kind and to the point, but dont let anyone take advantage of you, enjoy the last few days of Ramadan.

Anonymous said...

oh dear.. yes some people seem to take all your time and are "clingy" by nature.

just make du'aa for her and meet up with her after Eid

RedBerries said...

Quick update: She's been sending me 10 texts a day, I can't ignore her any longer. I'm meeting her next Thursday for dinner.

I just felt really bad that she would be going off to uni with me ignoring her. My dad thinks I'm mental.