I'm a liberal kinda girl. I speak to boys. I listen to music. I am more commonly seen without a mahrem than with.
So, a couple of months ago, this guy I know...an almost-friend, a good aquaintance...asked me if I'd be interested in getting to know him better. All above board obviously. He wanted to ask my dad's permission if he could talk to me a little more, and have a couple of chaperoned outings etc so we could see whether we'd be compatible in getting married.
I'll be honest about a couple of things.
1) I think this boy is awesome. Awesome awesome awesome. He's the bee's knees to me.
2) I'm torn between admiration and annoyance that he wanted my dad's permission to talk to me. Admiration because he's trying to be halal all the way, but annoyance because I don't like my parents to be involved in my business. Less so when a decision hasn't even been made.
But I let him ask my dad and all that, because I'm not the type of person to get in the way of someone's good intentions. And if I had said, "Nah, it's alright, we can talk without my dad's knowledge," then it comes accross as a little shifty. If some boy said that to me, I would think he's just looking for a female companion to pass the time. Plus, I'm trying to be a better Muslim, and I want to have baraqah in any relationship so best to start on the right foot.
I would like to re-iterate that I think he's great. If he texts me, I am literally grinning from ear to ear. Not because this is my first close relationship with a dude (that's another blog post all together) but because he makes me laugh, and all the little things he says, the inner part of me really agrees. He's a complete inspiration to me, because despite so many people not having a good opinon of him, he's like a secret samaritan, always doing good deeds behind closed doors. The only reason I find out is because I happened to talk to someone who he had majorly helped out - sacrificed his time, money, and education.
I'll bare my soul a little...he intimidates me.
His intentions, his humour, his wit, his intelligence, his knowledge, his life plans.....sA if I was half the person he is I would be blessed. And his humility, sA, I just don't have any more words to describe the awesomeness.
So things have been going well for a while, and he suggested that his parents call my parents...and I panic.
I say, 'No.'
My mind is screaming, "NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO."
I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm a commitment-phobe.
When he's so perfect, why am I so scared?
Note: I've added a little clarification to this post.