Sunday, 26 September 2010

A Little Clarification

I feel my last post needs a slight clarification.

The dude I was speaking about - he asked me if he could ask my dad's permission - and although I felt it was highly unnecessary (because, ya know, he wasn't about to walk me down the aisle or anything), I did let him. Because like I said, I didn't want to get in the way of his good intentions.

So he got permission from my parents to talk to me and stuff, and we've had a couple of semi-chaperoned outings. By semi-chaperoned, I mean that my brother was there for half the time, then decided to conveniently vanish for a while.

So, twas all halal.

And I'm taking a step back right now, because we haven't really had any contact since the beginning of Ramadan...and I'm re-evaluating.

Because I've been thinking.

Maybe I'm not ready to get married. :S


Love and Sugar said...

Oh ok alhamdulilah :)

Mm we're never ready for things like these. You just gotta take the jump at your own chance and trust in Allah (swt).

Hamid said...


I ask Allah to make your affairs easy for you and help you sail your boat of life safely and smoothly too.A'meen

Hijabis On Ranting Tour. said...

Mashallah a cool and interesting blog u have here, hope finding mr right goes well for u
take care
ur new reader

Is-za Jelass said...

Oh sister,

why does this post not surprise me? I have met so many other sisters who are all googily moogiliy when it comes to getting married but whenever a possible oportunity comes they run away like scared bunnies. So in my opinion you are not an odd ball but I think it would be helpful to consider what exactly are you not prepared for? Is it the concept of the lifestyle. Did you want to do it at a later age? What ideas are stopping you. I think from that point you will be able to determine the source of this unexpected fear and deal with it justly. Remember dear sister, you havent been married so you don't know what it will be like to be married. Also, marriage can not neccessarily be prepared for as we can only prepare ourselves, not the other person or the dynamic we will create with them. Are you shying away because this process seems unnatural? Him going to your parents, about to solidify a union. It must seem like its going over your heads. Sister I think you need to sit down and think critically what you want in a spouse but in a future too. THis list will bring you to reality (kids, traveling, education, personal freedom..etc) If he is qualifying for your specific criteria at least 80 % then thats a shoe in. Now its all on you..maybe it all seems to good to be true. I would not stretch it out unnesscarily (just because you are afraid) but rather with clear intentions to discover specific things. Don't let time be idle but purposeful.

I hope that helps

.hopeful. said...

Salam! Interesting post(s)..I read the previous one as wel.. I think you should not let this opportunity go. If he is as good as it seems then just do isthikhara and see where it goes. And don't never seems like you're ready to get married..but then when it's meant to will. I wasn't ready least..i thought I wasn't..but Alhamdaulillah I did get married and it was the best thing that happend to me. May ALlah makes your affairs easy. AMeen