Wednesday, 12 January 2011

The Covering on my Head

I was staring at myself in the mirror, and I think I looked pretty. I looked normal.

There are times in my past when I've regretted wearing the hijab. Now is not one of those times.

The hijab, the convering on my head, is meant to allow women to be judged on their intellect rather than their beauty. But recently, in Western culture, the hijab seems to stand for all these other things. A simple piece of cloth...translated into a massive political symbol.

Since I started my new job, my hijab has taken on a whole new meaning. I'm the only hijabi in the village. Seriously. Suddenly I'm a living breathing example of my religion. I don't think I'm an awful person...but that's a lot of pressure.

I hate the fact that my hijab is such a symbol. Some days I don't want to be a symbol. My hijab is meant to allow me to concentrate on everything else. My work, my patients, my customers. But it's not. The way I look has become the most important thing.

It makes me so sad.


jnana said...

You're right, that is a lot of pressure. Maybe carrying such a responsibility is one of God's mercies on you because it helps you push yourself to a standard you want your religion to be associated with. I mean, it's a self-development process too.

Anonymous said...

it is really hard.... because you have to think "i am representative of the muslim ummah"
but as jnana says.... it keeps you a better person on the outside- the way you act and treat people is inshaAllah the best, so your forced to come to terms with yourself and seek some kind of spiritual fulfillment ot assure yourself on the inside your fine too!
atleast, thats been my experiance at uni ^_____^
as a final note though, never think of your hijab as a "simple piece of cloth"; it makes it just harder.... i have a friend you says " my hijab is my crown"
<3 you sister!

Tauqeer said...

May Allah (SWT) help us all with the hardships of this life and see us through in peace. (Ameen)