I've had a hard couple of years before this one. Allah SWT tested me. And I struggled. Hell, you guys know, I'm still struggling. But back...about three or four years ago...I thought the whole world was ending. I couldn't imagine a future where I would ever smile again.
Overly dramatic? Perhaps.
All I know is that I went through some of the hardest moments of my life. Sitting in the dark, crying my eyes out. I can't explain the emptiness I felt inside. Like someone had carved out my insides and left nothing behind...and the pain...it physically hurt. My chest used to contract...sometimes I couldn't breathe.
Alhamdulillah. I never did that thing where I questioned why Allah was punishing me. For starters, I knew it was all my fault...but more importantly, I knew that this was written for me somewhere. I never saw it as a punishment, but rather a result of my own actions. My own sins.
Khair, that's all in the past. Although it wasn't an easy experience, nor one that I would wish upon anyone else, it made me the person I am today. And I quite like the person I am today. :P
This post isn't about all the awful things that happened to me a lifetime ago. I just had this epiphany yesterday, and I wanted to share with you guys.
SubhanAllah. We are nothing by specks of nothing next to the might and will of the All-Knowing, the All-Powerful. Everything that happened to me back then, it makes me appreciate every single thing I have right here, right now. Not just my material posessions, but my friends, my family. Places I've been, people I've met.
Sure I suffered before, but right now, the All-Mericiful has granted me so much support and so many life lines...should anything of a similar nature happen again (which it almost did), then it wouldn't be so hard this time around. I am so thankful to my Creator for this. I am thankful that my Rabb has been so gracious to me. He's shown me the darkest of the dark...but he's also shown me the light. I don't care if that's a cliche metaphor to use. It's true.
I've been though so much, not a lot can faze me anymore. SubhanAllah. Allah pushed me when I was young, and now I'm stronger than I've ever been, Prepared for what life is going to throw at me.
I pray that I never forget to give thanks.